a field somewhere

I never really liked strawberry Cornetto


Strawberry Cornetto please

You know when you do something, and as you are doing it you are thinking, ‘this isn’t such a smart idea’.

Taking a hot tray out the oven and forgetting the tea towel.

Jumping in a pool without checking how deep it is.

Using your back teeth to open a beer bottle.

Shaking the ketchup without checking the lid.

Drinking a whole bottle of Pimms because it’s only weak and it’s is a sunny.

Do I need to go on?

After a little too much to drink the other night I decided to get all wholesome the next day and get everyone up, bright and early, packed and ready and trundled off to the beach for an early swim.

BIG mistake.

Water was freezing…

Daughter was grumpy…

Sun was too bright…

Head was hurting…

Should have stayed in bed.

After much moaning and groaning at the healthy picnic I had packed, being freezing and generally very under privileged  kids, I caved in and we went for ice creams.

Finally happy, off they skipped for a play in the park.

STOP. Just a little advice here before I go on. This may be obvious to most people. NEVER presume anything is anything when a small child brings it to you.

‘Look,’ said Hunny (my 4-year-old) as she held out her dress.

‘Never mind,’ I replied. Immediately licking the creamy white ice cream off.

Now, I’ve never really liked strawberry Cornetto but this wasn’t right.

Hangover in full swing, bright sun, thumping head. My brain took a moment to compute.

I almost puked. Hunny laughed.

Seagulls are a big problem in Brighton.

Never presume.

Next time I will just stay in bed and accept that on certain days, Loom Bands and Ipads really do equal ‘best parenting practice’.


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14 thoughts on “I never really liked strawberry Cornetto

  1. ~Merlinda~ (@pixiedusk)

    Haha thats the best whats the story I have read! I am so sorry to laugh at your misery but … I learned something here and I would never ever lick any white thing from my son when there are seagulls =P #whatsthestory

  2. Maddie Sinclair

    Fab story – hope you’re not too traumatised! Gammon got attacked by one the other day on the beach. We had a picnic and it grabbed his bit of chicken right from his hand. Cue hideous ear-piercing screaming from both Gammon and Chips. I think they’re both scared of the sea now 🙁

  3. Jewel

    How awful! I had some paint fall in my mouth while I was painting the ceiling this morning and wondered if it was poisonous, but what happened to you was worse. Hope you were OK.

  4. Charly Dove

    Oh Sarah such a funny post, even more so when I got to the ice-cream. I can’t imagine how you must have felt afterwards. What a brilliant story though, one you’ll laugh about one day! Thank you so much for sharing #whatsthestory

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